First I curse the mischievous little animal that has obviously just had a meal worthy of a holiday and friends from my garbage. Then I curse the garbage pickup that often comes at 6:30 am. You see, I must put the bags out by the road before I leave to work out or I might miss them before I roll back home at 6:30. Who wants to carry out the garbage when they are achy and longing for a shower anyway?
I glance at the clock wondering if I can possibly clean up and re-bag the mess before the sanitation workers roll through my neighborhood at an ungodly hour when most people are just getting up. Ok well I can't harp too much about the ungodly hour considering I've already finished a workout by 6:30.
I decide to go for it. I dash into the house and grab a pair of disposable plastic doggy poo gloves and a new white garbage bag. I'm 1/4 of the way through clearing up the bits of left over dinners that I denied my dog when I hear the rumble of the truck one street over. I quicken my pace which naturally makes me a little more sloppy; which could be to blame for the shameless begging that happened next.
The truck rumbles up the street as I'm still picking up bits of nastiness that had been fermenting in the hot afternoons for the past 5 days. The combination of sweat, garbage and my hurried frenzy must have been something to behold and smell - even for a garbage man. The guy hopped off the truck and picked up my neighbors garbage eyeing me with an amused smirk. He then proceeds to walk past my drive. I shout "Hey wait just a second!" He shakes his head and picks up the remnants of one bag with a questioning look. "Just give me two more seconds." I shout over the roar of the truck while picking up an oozing mess that could not have come from my house.
He continues on without a word. "Ok, Ok just take this bag!" I shout realizing I'd have to pick the rest up later and wait until next week. He takes the bag from me without a word and continues on down the street.
I was fuming! It is now close to 7:00 and I have to be at work by 7:30 (I teach school kids so it isn't as if being a little late won't hurt anything; my classroom would be a mess and in total chaos!). I leave the rest of the mess and storm into the house to shower and get ready for work. When I get home I'm still mad about the mess and about the french knot I had to wear in my hair because there was no time to fix it and be on time to work.
The breeze was nice and it was a beautiful fall afternoon so I opened the glass window on my front storm door. It had a screen at one time but Daisy my happy yellow lab had long ago jumped through it in pursuit of a cat. Now the glass was open just enough for her to stick her head out and let in a breeze. From her vantage point Daisy alternately watched me clean up the rest of the trash and a pretty black and white cat sitting on the curb across the street. The pretty cat seemed to be watching me as well.
After dinner I settled down on the couch with Daisy snuggling next to me to watch my favorite Thursday night line up of TV shows. Just when I'd relaxed I hear a loud "bang" that sounded like a large bird hitting a glass window. Daisy was alert instantly searching for the source of the sound. We looked at each other hoping for some hint of what the sound was when we heard it again. Then I heard small "mew" and claws on hard plastic. Daisy knew an instant before I did that a cat was messing around with the front door.
Barking and growling Daisy jumps off the couch going around it toward the front door. I jumped over the back of the couch hoping to beat Daisy to the door and save this unfortunate cat's life. I didn't quite make it but the cat heard the commotion and was on its way out the open window before Daisy caught it. I sighed in relief as I saw a flash of black and white tear out across the lawn, glad the cat wasn't hurt. I'd soon change my mind about that cat.
The following Thursday morning was like a bad re-run. The garbage all over the driveway, the silent amusement of the sanitation worker and my anger building and the stupid french knot. Only difference was that this time the pretty black and white cat sat cleaning itself across the street as I picked up the garbage. I began to have my suspicions.
Several days later I arrived home from work on a rainy day to discover Daisy barking in the dinning room as she stared onto the back closed-in porch. I look out the dinning room window expecting to find a bird that got stuck in the room (its happened before). Instead I see the flash of a white hind paw and black tail exiting through the crack in the door that wouldn't quite close all the way. I wondered how long the cat had been there tormenting my dog, suddenly not liking this cat very much.
Another garbage day came around and I decided to experiment. Instead of going to work out I simply placed the garbage bags out at the road at the usual time and returned to the house. From the dark living room window I sat and watched the garbage bags bathed in the glow of the street light. Within 10 minutes I was rewarded as that stupid black and white cat began to slink its way over to my bright white bags. It looked around as if expecting some surprise then took the bait.
I came running out of the house with a broom swatting at the cat; which of course I never came close to hitting. The cat disappeared down the sewer drain and I went back into the house to wait. After 20 more minutes I decided it was time to shower and get dressed.
Yes, you know that the bags were ripped to shreds by the time I was finished with my shower. The following week I put red pepper and Tabasco all over the bag. Of course that bag wasn't touched but my neighbor's can next door had been tipped and desecrated.
It is now my mission to find this cat and drop it off at the humane society. I've seen it a few times since but it won't come to me when I call it. Oh well... I can wait and I have a long memory. Victory will be mine!
