Love Of My Life and I decided to remodel our kitchen last August. If you've read my bat stories in the "Why can't I sleep" collection you'll understand we were not surprised to find a couple of desiccated bats trapped in our insulation-less walls. When the original bat problem struck the prior spring we'd gotten all the entry points covered to avoid any future bat problems. I must admit, it felt good to put up insulation, new walls and new electric boxes and remove the small dried out bats that never found their way out of the walls.
So the kitchen destruction and construction continued until February when the cabinets were in and we were ready for the finish electrical work, the boxes would be filled and the lighting installed. The day before the electrical contractor, a good friend of ours, is to arrive my bat detector goes off with a bang.
Love Of My Life had just walked out the door to leave on a week-long work trip and I'm standing in my bathrobe in front of the morning weather report trying to decide what to wear when Daisy comes tearing out of the kitchen, her doggy claws slipping and sliding on the hardwood dining room floor. She comes to a halt right between me and the TV with the excited "I found a ball" look on her face.
"What?" I ask her and direct my attention back to the horribly cold temps flashing on the screen... I'm in no mood play ball. She cocks her head and stomps her front paws which makes it appear she is dancing. I look down at her again and she waits expectantly for me say or do something. "No," I say. "I'm not playing with you right now." She turns in a circle and dances with her front paws again. "Ok, Ok." I gruff out, "What is it?" Evidently she believes I'm sincere and tears off into the kitchen and I reluctantly follow, checking off all the reasons in my head I don't have time for this.
The kitchen is mostly done but the counter tops and our under-mount sink are not in yet so there is an empty space where the sink should be. I flip on the light and see Daisy furiously sniffing and blowing between the tiny crack in the cabinet doors below where the sink will go. Standing at the door with one hand on the switch and one hand on my hip I demand, "What? What is it?" I couldn't see any food or toy around. She looks back and me then hops around a bit and re-focuses on the space under the future sink. I know there is something in there - the garbage. It is a nice place to put the can when you can just drop things in from the top - when the sink and counters are finally installed I'll have to open the cabinet door to throw things away, but it is convenient for now. My curiosity is piqued because she knows the garbage is off limits. She has broke out into another round of dancing and spinning. I now know there is SOMETHING in the cabinet besides garbage.
I hesitate a few more minutes wondering why these things always happen right AFTER my husband leaves. I contemplate just leaving what ever it is there and ignoring it. That seems to work for my husband, ignoring the dirty clothes on the floor makes them magically appear clean in his drawer. But there is no fairy godmother living here for me so I creep across the kitchen and peer down through the sink hole.
And there sits a fuzzy brown bat, snuggly packed into the empty electrical box from which my garbage disposal will soon pull power. I know they can't "see" but it must have sensed my approach or been aggravated by the heavy sniffing of my bat detector because it began to move toward the front of the box and the open space of the kitchen. The last thing I wanted was a bat flying around the house with a dog jumping up after it so I quickly grabbed a tool case and gently placed it in front of the box. I'd boxed in the bat.
Daisy was so excited that she'd lead me to the bat that she was hopping around the kitchen as I relaxed and said, "Good Girl Daisy." Suddenly we both froze. I could hear little bat claws scratching at the plastic tool case. I shivered and Daisy assumed the "point" position, her eyes fixed on the cabinet doors that separated her from the bat in the electrical box. It was a gross and pitiful sound but I wasn't about to do anything with it. I comforted myself with the thought that if I wasn't six months pregnant I would put on a pair of heavy leather work gloves and relocate the bat outside, but as things were I was not about to touch a wild animal.
The scratching continued, I remained frozen in thought, Daisy was frozen in anticipation. I decided I'd call the humane society when I got to work and hope they could come pick it up before my friend Best Electrician Ever and his crew arrived the next morning to work on the box that now housed a bat. I rewarded Daisy with a milk bone and gave her extra pets and snuggles, telling her what a good dog she was. As I dressed and flew out the door to work I made a mental note to ask Daisy to look for bats in the basement just under the kitchen in case this wasn't the only one. I got to work a little late and in the mayhem of middle school I forgot to call the humane society. I fact, I forgot all about the bat.
Tired and run down I return home and let Daisy in from her chilly day outside in the snow. I head straight for the bathroom with her jumping all around saying hello and how much she missed me with grunts and wet kisses. I shut her out of the bathroom (a girl's got to have SOME private time) and took my time putting on my PJs and washing my face. When I open the door Daisy comes flying through the house from the kitchen and then I remember what I'd forgotten. It was too late to call the humane society and I was wondering what to do as I followed Daisy back to the kitchen. Just then Best Electrician Ever called to make arrangements for the morning.
Best Electrician Ever is one of the most helpful guys I know. His wife (One Who Makes Me Laugh) would say he is too helpful because he sees something that needs to be fixed and does it... while on the clock. I'm grateful for this most of the time - it keeps me from having to think and he isn't bothering me with calls every few minutes. He just takes care of things.... and charges for them. I can see how it might bother some people but once I figured this out about him, I'm grateful he takes the time to want things done right and knowing him the way I do, I know it really is about doing a good job, not about tacking on time. So I answer the phone and we set up a time and key placement for him and his crew to get in the house the following morning.
I decide to stretch our working relationship a bit into the "friend" area for what feels like the hundredth time. "MMMM Best Electrician Ever?" I say quickly.
"Yeah whats up?" He replies in his perpetually good-natured way.
"I have a bit of a surprise for you." I'm now in the kitchen staring at the tool box, knowing what is behind it while Daisy assumes the "point" stance again.
He chuckles, "Whats that?"
"A bat." There it was out. "In one of your electrical boxes." I add quickly... hoping that "your electrical box" would some how make it his problem.
Surprised he responds, "A bat?"
"Yep." I respond quickly and then rush into telling the irony of how these things always happen right when Love of My Life leaves and how I'd take care of it on my own but I'm pregnant and... and I realize that I'm speaking too high and too fast so I just close my mouth. After a moment of silence he asks, "Now where exactly is it?" I explain it to him and quickly dive into how easy it would be to get it out. You see, if you moved the tool case, they don't just fly out right away, so you'd have to just grab it with a pair of heavy gloves on. "Just grab it?" he asks sounding a bit shocked. Now I felt bad that I was shoving this off on him. But not bad enough to back down if there was any possibility he might get rid of it for me. "It might be dead by tomorrow morning." I said lamely but hoping it might be true. It wasn't making any more scratching noises. Best Electrician Ever laughed and said he'd take care of it. I felt about two inches tall and felt I had to help arm him for this in any way I could so I told him to be ready that if he (or one of his guys) tried to pick it up that they make the most terrible screeching noise and to be ready for it and that their little bodies were really squishy. (Love of My Life had removed one from a wall in the basement before.) He was quiet for a moment, I thought he might be reconsidering, then he laughed and said, "OK, One Who Makes Me Laugh wants to talk before you go."
Best Electrician Ever passed the phone off to his wife and I told her about the bat. She laughed and laughed, I could tell she wanted to be there to witness the event. We talked a bit longer and I got off the phone... relieved that Best Electrician Ever was for the moment still my friend and he was going to help me out. I didn't like playing the pregnant woman in distress card but I also didn't want to move the bat and I did want my electrical work finished.
Even after it was done and Best Electrician Ever sent the bill I was relieved, although I wouldn't have complained, there was no "bat removal" charge.
